


Alive with the Glory of You

by goodnightPidge



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Before Season 3 but shortly after Season 2, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Lance loves Pidge very much, Minor Keith/Hunk, Mutual Pining, Period Cramps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 03:07:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12003699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodnightPidge/pseuds/goodnightPidge
Summary: In times where she needs someone the most, Pidge decides that spending it alone would probably be the best for her and her friends. Except it isn't and she really needs someone to get her through, quite possibly, one of the worst days of her entire life.





	Alive with the Glory of You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the first ever fic I've ever published online. So please take it easy on me if you decide to comment! I would like some feedback though since I plan on doing this more often (-: This was super fun to make and I'm so happy that my month's worth of work is finally getting out there. This title is based off the song "Alive with the Glory of Love" by Say Anything, so you can check it out if you want. Hope you enjoy~

“Wow... that is truly... abhorrent.”

Pidge roughly whispers to herself, staring at the regurgitated mess she had spewed into the toilet bowl.

She had thrown up. Again. And in all honesty, she was shocked that it has even gotten to this point. Before, her periods simply consisted of just annoying menstrual cramps with the occasional headache.

But these days they’ve grown to be quite the distraction. And by distraction, Pidge means the “laying-in-bed-all-day-because-I-can’t-even-stand-up-straight” type of distraction. These days she breathed with the sickly sense choking her throat at all times, and that doesn’t help with the sickening feeling she has at default. She’s thrown up two times today, but even that number is a huge growth from what it was on Earth; which was a whopping number of zero times. Space can be a bitch.

_It must be the food goo._

Pidge sits back on the floor and she realizes that her chest was still heaving from the prior event. Even her eyes were brimmed with tears. She reaches for the toilet handle and flushes the evidence away and sighs with a mental relief as the cramps were giving Pidge a break from the prior chaos. But she knows it won’t last for long. They never do.

_Is it even legal for periods to be this annoying? I didn’t sign up for this shit._

As she slowly rises from the floor, she loses a bit of balance and feels her head spin fast. _Oh yeah, can’t forget this fabulous headache either. A true delight._

She quietly groans and slides her feet over to the sink to brush her teeth. As she continues to do so, she lifts her head up to see her reflection, and an exhausted girl stares back. Looking at herself, she notices the little differences from the countless battles and countless days that have passed since she left Earth. A faint scar on her cheek, some hair growth in the back, a small growth in her height as well, and a loss of some of that youthful chub.

But even with this physical growth she feels her life is just a constant, fixed factor. Everything is moving way too fast while she is stuck on pause. Rather, she feels like she is slowly reversing backwards.

And it was only years ago when she thought she had lost both her father and her brother. That’s when the sprout of her sadness appeared. Sadness mixed with a bit of despair and loneliness summarizes what Pidge was back then (And even now). Then years ago, she countered that discovery with another one; hope and progression. She’d risked everything to get to where she needed to be which was one step higher to finding her family. Even discovering Voltron had increased that progression by a great amount of steps. _This is it._ She had thought. _At this rate, finding Matt and dad is at the very tip of my fingers._

Was that really only a few years ago?

However, once Shiro was nowhere to be found after their intense battle, the morale of the team had plummeted. It was like a powering source had stopped functioning and the machine itself was stuck at a standstill. From enthusiastic cheers, to forced encouragement. From loud excitement, to frustrated grunts.

Nothing made sense anymore. Everything lead to nothing. And to Pidge, her progression had turned into a nonsensical mess. Aaand she’s back to that initial sprout of despair.

To make matters even worse, she still has to deal with this monthly reminder that she’s not getting any action. Or rather, has never experienced such actions anyway... (so her monthly bill is just pointless!) And not that being a virgin is something she worries about often, but to have to deal with the consequence (was it a consequence..?) for it is something she despises greatly.

Being shot up into space made her cramps a lot more unbearable lately and Pidge sighed as she pondered. _Was it really because of the food I’ve been eating? Does Coran put something in these food goos? Maybe it’s the lack of vitamins. I mean, it wasn’t like I was eating like an Olympian back at the Garrison or anything. Though I did eat the occasional lunches they handed out...still! This food goo shouldn’t really be making this killer for me!_

Pidge then looks back up at the exhausted girl that stood before her. And just like that, looking at herself gave her all the answers she needed.

It’s not the food or the lack of vitamins. Hell, Pidge only wishes those were the faults. No, it’s all in her head. It’s the stress. It’s the depression. And she can’t help it, but she feels guilty.

She did this to herself.

Of course she did. She always makes everything harder for herself, it’s all her doing. It was only inevitable that her physical condition would catch up to her emotional condition.

In a matter of seconds, her focus narrows down onto her quickening heartbeat, and her tightening throat. Pidge was about to breakdown in a matter of seconds and she had to get out of the bathroom. She rushes over to the door back into the jail cell that was her room so she wouldn’t be caught in the act.

_Nope. These cramps were totally caused by the food goo._

**

“Hunk, have you ever wondered what consisted as a year for Alteans? Like think about it, there’s no way in Quiznak that the sun went around Altea under the same time… frame, or whatever, as Earth time. Wait, do they even have a sun? What if they have multiple suns? How would that even work? Dang, I didn’t even think about that.”

“Lance, how many times are you going to ask me that same question? Already asked me like 3 times ever since I stepped foot in this kitchen”

Lance exclaims loudly, “Are you serious? You’re messing with me.”

“I need that counter space man. Can you get off, pretty please?”

Lance hops off the counter and glances at Hunk approaching with a tray of make-believe french fries (as Pidge likes to call them). He raises an eyebrow at Hunk and continues, “Well anyways, I really think you should try baking some more sweets around here. We could really use them. Especially with this energy that’s been drained from the castle lately. How about that delicious creme brulee you were talking about earlier? I could use some of that right about now.”

Hunk chuckles awkwardly, “I was raving about that like months ago, dude. Surprised you even remembered.. But, like, I really think you should lay off of that elixir thing those alien girls gave you at that space mall.”

“I’m not just going to push away a gift when it is given, _Hunk_. That’s rude. Besides, this stuff’s really doing it for me, I gotta say.”

“Well yeah, but it apparently makes you lose track of time and makes you way more talkative than usual”.

“I’m sorry Hunk, did I just a hear a complaint? You can’t get enough of my amazing voice dude. Don’t deny it.” Lance stares at the ceiling as he tries to recall the past few hours. “But I could’ve sworn I was asking everyone else about the question earlier..”

“What question?”

“The Altean years question! I mean I could’ve sworn I nagged to Keith with the same question like 10 minutes ago. And he totally told me to get out of his room because I was distracting him from his emo issues. Wow... would I really make up something so elaborate?”

As Lance scratches his chin at the thought, Hunk slightly straightens up at the statement, “ Um okay, no more drinking that elixir. You're saying some pretty freaky stuff.” He turns to Lance and continues, “And I don’t know if I should be... flattered that you mistook me as Keith or anything...,” Lance playfully shoves at his shoulder, “Dude, don’t even. Your looks don’t even compare to Keith’s! You’re a freaking body builder on the front of those intimidating magazines compared to Keith. I don’t even know what you see in that guy he’s so-”, Lance interrupted himself as he saw the warning look in Hunk’s stare.

Lance carries on,”Anyways, weren’t you going to do something about that little crush you have on Keith? I mean come on, it’s growing to be pretty obvious at this point.”

Hunk glares at him, “Seriously Lance, this castle is pretty big, but I’d rather not have this secret being known to the entire galaxy because of your humongous mouth.” Lance shrugs but respectively lowers his voice, “I mean it’s your call. But we all sleep in close proximities to one another. And you might as well take advantage and be honest yeah? Just confess your feelings man. Let those bottled up feelings spill!”

Hunk sighs, “Oh you can talk, Lance.”

Lance’s mouth immediately tightens up at that comeback. He shifts his view off to the side with a sulking look.

“Oh but, can you ask Pidge if she wants to eat for dinner? I haven’t really seen her like all day except for the occasional spotting in the hallways.”

Lance no longer sulks to the floor as he hears the mention of Pidge’s name. His head sharply turns in concern towards him, “What? Has she eaten anything at all?” Hunk gives an unknowing shrug, “Uh, I think she might’ve had a go at the food goo during lunch. But that’s outta mess things up for her system, if you catch my drift.”

Hunk giggles slightly at that and nudges his shoulder, but Lance groans in disgust. “Gastrointestinal comments are not even remotely amusing to me, Hunk. But sure, I’ll see if she wants anything.”

Lance turns and walks towards the exit. “Oh yeah, but you should really consider making something sweet. You know, for Keith and all.”

Hunk perks up with faint interest. Lance resumes, “He really doesn’t seem like the sweets type of guy, but I know he really likes chocolate type foods. You know, like brownies? He’ll be by your side for life basically.” Hunk hums, “Huh. Noted. Thanks Lance.”

Lance winks at Hunk and lets him carry on with his duties as he trots off to Pidge’s room.

**

Pidge collapses onto the familiarity of her bed as soon as she enters her room. Room drowned with quiet gasps and sniffles. This was another issue Pidge had to deal with; Her emotions being multiplied by ten and being outwardly expressed. She’s done a good job of keeping them quiet these past few months. But just like everything else that’s gone terrible today, the tears just couldn’t stop falling.

By this point, she was sobbing quietly into her pillow as she kept reflecting on her failures. _It only seems like I’m losing more and more people that I love. The only people that have kept me grounded and sane are slowly drifting away from me. And I.. I’m not going anywhere at this rate…..Will I ever move on?_

She lies on her back and feels her stomach gurgle in cramping pain mixed with some hunger. She’s too afraid to eat; she’d rather avoid throwing up her food for the third time today. That’d set a new record. She whimpers quietly and closes her eyes as the headache spins her brain around. _Stop crying. You’re making the headache worse._

Usually, if her cramps had reached an unbearable point, she’d just talk to family and rant off her emotions. For some reason, that did a lot for her physically and emotionally. Back on Earth she loved having her mom and Bae Bae around to help comfort her. Her mother would usually make hot soup and hand her a heating pad for her to sleep with. And Bae Bae would usually be there, snuggled up by her side, as she drifted off to a comforting sleep.

Even in the Garrison, she’d usually just FaceTime her mother and update her on all the events that occurred. Really anything helped her cramps if she was able to let out some emotion once in a while.

Circumstances obviously changed her routine, but it was still a routine. She would usually be leaned against the couch in the commons area, and Shiro was usually there to keep her company. They’d usually tell intriguing stories about each other’s lives on Earth and watch weird Altean movies that Allura had lying around in the castle. He was really good at listening to Pidge at her most vulnerable moments.

Sure, the pain was still kicking her ass, but the conversations really helped distract her. And she’d really only talk to Shiro about everything. He was the closest to her after all, technically knowing more about her than anyone else on the ship.

Which is why this time, with the disappearance of Shiro, she feels more alone than ever before.

But she partly blames herself for this, as she tends to isolate herself from the team often. She’ll admit, she’s been kind of an ass when it comes to socializing with the other paladins, but would they really understand her feelings? Her emotional state?

With the castle being filled with basically all boys, she doesn’t see them being the most... helpful. They’d probably give an awkward reaction and internally freak out because blood. Thankfully, Shiro was a lot more mature and grown up from the other paladins and always understood. He was there for her regardless. Everyone else however….

well she liked talking to Hunk a lot, but they never really touched on each other’s lives or anything worth remembering. Their conversations usually consisted of their mutual understanding of technology and any other random conversation Hunk would initiate. So she can’t really see herself confiding in Hunk for any personal help.

Pidge is more so awkward when it comes to Keith, and they never really converse in depth. Their “conversations” usually occur in the heat of battle, and even then they’re extremely brief.

She’s also never thought about whether Alteans even have periods, so she’s never bothered explaining to Allura about human biology as that would take her vargas to cover. _I don’t even want to consider Coran as an option._

Lance is… not that bad actually. She’s had a fair share of intellectual conversations with him whenever she’d catch him in the control room by himself drifting with the stars. That’s when she began to discover that Lance actually has a lot more on his plate than he’s perceived.

_Lance…. Would he get it? Would he even want to talk to me? He’s a pretty good guy deep down, and he’d probably be really good at comforting me. But…. I’ve always pushed Lance away… even back at the Garrison. So he probably doesn’t like me all that much anymore… as expected._

Pidge groans in pain while also in frustration. _Whatever. The day’s almost over, or atleast it feels like it should be over… so it’d be too much of a hassle to try and call for someone at this late of a time anyway. I’ll just try and sleep the pain away._

She doesn’t know how well that’s going to work, but what else can she really do?

**

Lance’s footsteps echo throughout the empty hallways and they start to creep him out, step by step. _Jeesh. They can keep me in here for two decafeebs, and I still wouldn’t be able to shake this eerie feeling I get when I’m walking through this horror scene._

He’s thankful to see Pidge’s door coming into view, but as he approaches her door, his energy immediately dies. The effects of the elixir immediately coming down, becoming a mere memory. And Lance can’t shake this weird feeling that something’s not alright. He’s now face-to-face with Pidge’s door and he knocks on it slowly, “Hey... Pidge?”

There was no reply from the other end, so he presses the open button and takes in the sight of Pidge’s back turned against him. Thankfully, the shoulders were rising and falling ever so slightly, assuming she’s just sleeping, so he exhaled in relief.

He has no idea why he feels so tense. But he approaches her bed and whispers to her anyways, “Are you awake?” He sinks on to the mattress, next to Pidge’s head. But there’s still no sound coming from her. His heart beats a little harder now that he’s near his crush; Not to mention he is in her quiznakking room.

But he’s going to keep calm and continue on with his initial goal, “Hunk wanted to make you something to eat because apparently someone’s been skipping out on a couple of meals.. again.”

He waits for a snarky reply, but is met with silence instead. “Come on, you know how…. Hunk is, worrying about our health and all. Space doesn't really offer the best food options for us at all times, so we gotta take advantage of Hunk's amazing cooking.” Lance masks his own concern with the use of Hunk. He’s sure he wouldn’t mind.

From Pidge, he hears a sharp sniffle and his eyes immediately widen. He leans in a little bit closer to her shoulder, “Woah, are you okay?” he asks with his voice carefully lowered. Pidge gives him a very short reply which urged him to worry even more, “Just cramps.”

 _She’s obviously covering something up._ Lance hesitates for a moment, not sure if bothering her right now is the best option, but he pushes on, “Did the food goo get to you?” For a while there was no reply, and Lance thought he had annoyed her too much (a familiar feeling he gets whenever he's around Pidge).

Until she finally nods, “Sure.” Lance stood up at that, “Okay, I’ll be back. I’ll get some water for you.”

As he was walked to the door, he heard some shifting from the covers and a timid voice, “Wait. Lance.” He turns and sees Pidge’s worried expression, filled with something more than just discomfort from cramps. This was a look he had never seen from her before. The look reminded him of his little cousin whenever she’d get horrible nightmares. And it makes him want to dive back in the bed and hug her until she’s alright.

“Um…. make sure it’s warm to hot-ish temperature, okay?” Lance eyes widen as he saw that her eyes were rimmed with bright red, and her skin was paler than usual. He replies shakingly, “O-ofcourse Pidge. Give me a tick.” And he rushes off to the kitchen. _Why she was looking so anxious? She’s never looked that broken in front of me before. Quiznak….I better do something when I get back._

**

He enters the kitchen once more and no longer sees Hunk in the kitchen with the "potato" sticks he was making earlier. Instead, he sees a whole array of baking utensils on the counter, which took Lance by surprise. He wasn’t really expecting Hunk to actually listen to his advice.

“Hey Lance, do you think this weird coffee looking thing could be a good substitute for cocoa powder? It has this like strong cocoa resonance to it... if you sniff hard enough.” Lance approaches Hunk’s extended hand holding the mysterious looking jar. Lance sniffed inside the jar, “Dude this smells like dirt with sugar sprinkled on top,”

Hunk mentally chastises himself but immediately looks back, “It’ll have to do!” Lance chuckled at his friend’s determination. “My, and I see you’ve finally taken the steps to make something sweet for your little sweetheart.”

“Well I was really making this for everyone else too. Keith hasn’t really been the only one taking the disappearance of Shiro that well.” Lance raises his eyebrow in confusion at that and replies, “But Keith’s been the only one spitting his emotions onto all of us, not very nicely may I add, while the rest of us are able to easily focus on our missions,” Hunk objects, “Well yeah, but everyone’s affected just as greatly. Besides, Pidge has been acting outwardly sad about his disappearance too.”

Lance body tenses,”Wait, really?” Hunk gives him an unamused look, “Wow Lance, you really haven’t noticed the obvious pain Pidge has been carrying ever since the incident? Not only was Shiro close to Keith, but Pidge talked to Shiro too. Like a lot.” Lance muttered in disbelief for a moment, but then realized that Hunk was right. Pidge was probably the most affected (next to Keith) of this whole situation. And now he feels really bad.

“Hunk how do you turn on the heat for the water?” Lance opens up the cabinets and looks for a large mug, “And do we have any tea in this castle?” Hunk walks over to the stove and lays a pot on top that had some water, “I’ll just boil this up for you. But yeah they have some tea bags in that one container over there.” Hunk pointed to the corner of the kitchen, “Thanks buddy.” Lance walks over and squinted at the array tea packets written with unrecognizable Altean symbols. He chooses one that looks the least intimidating.

**

Pidge sat at the edge of her bed, with a warm blanket hooded over her head. She had not expected Lance to unexpectedly show up into her room this late. Let alone even wanting to help out with her current dilemma. _But I mean, he probably didn’t suspect me to be on my period or anything, so he probably thought nothing of it. He’d definitely freak out if he found out. Oh he’d so flip. He freaks out over the littlest things…. that dork…_

Her vision directs her to the hazy outline that was her door and briefly wonders why she keeps thinking so negatively of Lance. It’s not like he had ever done anything horrible to Pidge. In fact, he’d done many great things for Pidge it honestly makes her incredibly giddy just thinking about it.

And she hates how she had never seen just how great and lonely Lance was. Even after finding Voltron, she still continued to treat him like shit, not even bothering to give him a chance. And she wonders why the hell Lance still continues to act so kind to Pidge when all she did in return was roll her eyes at him. _Ugh,_ _I’m such an asshole._

In the corner of her room sat the game her and Lance had bought at the Space Mall, and seeing it made her happy of the silly memories. Probably the least difficult, yet most exciting mission Pidge had partaken in. Just the fact that Lance was willing to help chip in aswell made her happy.

He was always so brave and confident in himself. In anything and everything he did. Even if it was all a great act, he’d get a Grammy for best actor if they were on Earth. It’s something she admired in him the most.

Some days she’d be able to pull off a poker face or two throughout the long and idle days. But sometimes, she just bursts (not infront of the others, thank god) in random spurts of anger and she just can’t contain herself. It’s way too hard. How does Lance do it?

The door slides open and she sees the subject of her admiration walk in with an encouraging smile. Lance talks lightly with a mug in one hand and a plate of some delicious-looking brownies on the other, “So, I was looking at some tea bags and found something that you might like. And I found this cool hazelnut-looking tea and I thought you’d like it because… you like peanuts? I think it was? Even though.. It’s not entirely peanuts or anything…”

As Lance continued, Pidge snorted a tiny sarcastic laugh, “Lance, I like peanut butter. Not peanuts! Too dry dude.” Redness creeps onto Lances cheeks, as his embarrassment amplifies, “R-right! Hah! It’s okay I hate peanuts too. But this is tea, so it’s actually not that dry! And it’s hot which is good for cramps. Also did you want some brownies? They look appetizing.”

Lance takes a bite out of a small piece and moans in a try-hard manner. It’s obvious that it’s not any normal brownie, shown by his facial reactions to the taste, “Well, you learn to love it.”

Pidge smooths out her covers a bit as she looks down, “Um actually, I think eating those.. appetizing brownies would just make my condition worse.” Lance raises an eyebrow for a second and approaches her nightstand, setting down her refreshment and snack. “Condition? What, you’ve been throwing up?” Lance jokingly comments, attempting to pry a smile out of Pidge.

But she wasn’t having it as her eyes widen in horror. Lance catches onto his mistake and quickly attempts to correct himself, “I-I’m sorry. It’s not bad if that’s the issue! Really, it’s cool… or I mean… ugh, I knew Gastrointestinal comments are never funny nor appropriate.” Pidge closes up even more however.

“No it’s fine. It’s gross. Sorry.” Lance fists visibly clench, probably from inner anger, but he chooses to reply, “Pidge.. It’s really not that gross. Don’t beat yourself over it! You can’t prevent something so natural.” Lance, now sitting on her bed, shifts closer to her side,”But you also said that you were having cramps. So.. does that mean you’re… on your period?”

Pidge avoided Lance’s determined stare, but she speaks up in a hardly audible whisper, “It’s okay. It’s really not that bad. You don’t have to pity me.” Once again, she feels warmness brush up to her face, and tears attempting to escape her eyes once more.

She has no idea why she feels like bursting out into tears again. She can’t do this infront of Lance. She has to get him out of here before she really breaks, “I think I’m going to sleep this off,” and Pidge turns her back to Lance and crawls towards her pillow. 

Lance doesn’t know when it’s his cue to leave however, and continues to pry, “Wait, but I-I just want to make sure you’re doing okay. You know? I’d just feel really uneasy, knowing that I left you in your room, still hurting. Whether it’s-”

“Lance. Seriously. I’m fine.” Pidge declares in a stern yet shaky tone. It’s getting hard to tell if she’s trying to convince Lance or herself at this point. But she knew, that this would be what made Lance quit.....

A couple seconds of silence tick away, and Pidge’s internal thoughts continue to crowd in on her, _Geez. Really? Are you seriously pushing Lance away? Again? Do you ever learn anything..._

Lance did not catch the shakiness in her voice however, and she can even sense that she has definitely hurt him. She turns around to face Lance and sees him looking down, off to the side in an upset demeanor. _Oh no. This is bad._ Before she could speak up to apologize, she hears a tiny, “Alright..” escape from Lance’s lips. And her ears immediately perk up, attempting to hear all he has to say.

“Hey, it’s alright. I get it… I know I can get a bit annoying and clingy sometimes. Seriously it’s the worst.”

“No, L-Lance I-”

“I mean... you’d think after the first few times on Earth, I’d get the hint right? That I’d finally have some tact and know when to back off. But wow, not even in space! Not even when we’re in a totally different world do I ever learn from those first few times.” Lance’s voice ringing in the emptiness of Pidge’s room.

Pidge immediately regrets everything that has ever spilled out of her uncensored mouth. He turns his back and slowly walks to the door, “I'll just...If you need anythi-” a sharp sniffle from behind him interrupts his thought process.

As she sits up trying to call for Lance, she attempts to hold back a sob but fails greatly. “Lance…” Her voice hiccups with a high pitch. This is it. She breaks with her desperation seeping through. Lance turns around sharply, full attention on Pidge, “Please stay…”

She shuts her eyes tightly, attempting to stop the tears from falling, all the while biting her lip to stop the cries. Pidge hears shuffling footsteps coming to her bedside, and Lance’s arms suddenly trap her, enveloping her senses of him.

With Pidge’s ear and hands to his clothed chest, she can faintly hear and feel Lance’s quickening heartbeat. He tightens his hold on Pidge even more, cradling her head with his palm. His fingers slowly thread through the strands of her messily cut hair. It sent comforting synapses to her brain, that it made her physically want to sink more into Lance’s hold. He mutters softly into her hair, “It’s okay. I’m here. Talk to me”.

Her eyes widen in brief embarrassment, but they quickly shut, allowing the tears to stain his jacket. He gently pulls Pidge off of him and tilts her chin up to his face level. This forced her to look into Lance’s beautiful eyes which made her face heat up in even more embarrassment. Bottled up feelings rise back up to the surface and Pidge continued to push them down. (Or at least she tries because it’s not exactly the simplest task when your former crush stares at you like you’re the only girl in the universe; one could dream).

Lance sighs quietly, “But it’s okay if you don’t want to talk,” his hand absentmindedly rubbing her arm, “If you just want me to stay, I can definitely do that. Here,” Lance hands her the now semi-hot cup of tea. “This should really help with the cramps”.

As Pidge sips the cup, she feels his other hand rubbing at her thigh, slowly and reassuringly. Hot liquid rushing down into her stomach immediately releasing a layer of tension. She sighs quietly as she feels a sense of relief; whether it was from the tea or just the fact that Lance is still with her at the moment. She desperately wants to rest her eyes, to end the day on a calming note, but doesn’t want him to leave yet either. Pidge comes up with a shameful request.

“Can you… possibly just lay in the bed with me? You don’t have to do anything.. I guess I just need some company…” Pidge asks quietly fully expecting an uncomfortable reply from Lance. It’s a line that could possibly be crossed by this simple request, so she wouldn’t feel at all mad if Lance was hesitant. But instead, she is met with overwhelming enthusiasm, “Anything.”

 _Wow, he is just way too nice to me. No wonder I was head over heels-_ Nope. Not feeding those thoughts today. Pidge seriously needed to quit.

Much to her surprise, he was already one step ahead of Pidge. As she shifted back into her spot, Lance’s head was already on the pillow. The bed was realistically only big enough for Pidge, but the size still somehow worked out to where Lance was able to lie next to her without invading too much of her personal space. Not that she’d mind him touching her again. He’s an incredible hugger.

She slowly lowered her body onto the mattress and scooted mere inches away from his chest. Breathing all the sudden became a conscious task for her, with her butterflies bugging her to the core. As she re-learns the basic human functions, Lance’s hand snakes under her arm and over her rib. Pidge stares down hard on the hand that rests on top of her waist. She takes in a shaky inhale, but notices that Lance slowly retracts. “Sorry, is this alright?” Lance asks with a quiet, hesitant voice.

Pidge pulls on the arm however, like it was a seatbelt keeping her safe from the pain, “Just perfect, Lance.” She internally cringes at the sound of the wording, but Lance quietly chuckles afterwards. Probably laughing at the wording as well. Laying down next to Lance like this felt too amazing right now, and it feels like her cramps were giving her another break. So she decided that falling asleep next to him wouldn’t be the worst idea in the books right now.

“Goodnight Pidge”, Lance whispers quietly.

Well she’ll try falling asleep whenever her heart recovers from it’s nervous freakout.

**

Pidge would take a guess and say that it’s probably been two vargas since she fell asleep next to the former light of her life. Thankfully she was able to drift off to a peaceful sleep (somehow) for long enough. Until now, when she was rudely woken up by her unforgiving menstrual cramps.

She hunches forward in pain and moves her hand over to her clothed stomach but realizes that it’s still being accompanied by Lance’s hand. Soon realizing that his chest is fully planted onto her back aswell, it made moving in a subtle manner a lot harder. His legs were even intertwined with hers; one of his thighs resting in between Pidge’s legs and the other leg hooking lazily on top of her leg. Lastly, his head is solely breathing in the back of Pidge’s neck; which now that she realizes, feels really ticklish yet oddly nice.

This dream is a lot more realistic than the usual ones, that if she were to wake up right now, she’d be convinced that it was a lie. Although it all feels real, it’s hard for Pidge to grasp at the moment. But the terrorizing pain in her abdomen make it very real for her. _I can’t believe we’re actually spooning right now. IF it weren’t for these annoying cramps, I’d be totally thrilled right now._

Still, she placed her hand over Lance’s and pressed down onto her stomach. She then feels Lance’s hand jolt in full awareness and immediately retracts her own hand, despite the cramps crying for attention. “You good, Pidge?”

“Aha… not really. My cramps woke me up so…” Pidge talks slowly as the pain and her exhaustion was making speech ten times harder. Lance’s hand rubs instinctively at that notion and speaks in his low, sleepy voice, ”I’m sorry.” _It’s okay, you’re really helping with the pain right now. Especially with that sexy voice you’ve got going on right now. Can you speak more please. God you just had to be so perfect, didn’t you. I’m so in love. You’re too good to me._ Is the jumble of thoughts she wishes she could’ve said but she lets out an amused huff instead.

Greed overtakes Pidge's brain all of the sudden and she wishes that Lance would touch her actual stomach. Not that the rubbing isn’t helping (because it totally is), but it would definitely be a plus with that additional skin-to-skin contact. A great big A+ in fact. But she’s already crossed enough lines tonight, she wouldn't want to push it. She should be happy with what she has at the moment because this is definitely not all that normal. Even what they’re doing right now is a thing that usually couples do. Not friends. What is she even doing?

And as if Lance was reading her mind, he grabs for the bottom of Pidge’s sweater and lifts it up to the bottom of her sports bra. She immediately freezes and stops breathing once again, and is practically unconscious when he whispers to her, “Sorry, is it okay if I try something?” And with the inability to say anything, she decided that nodding was the best option, being careful not to accidentally bash Lance’s nose in.

She looks down at Lance’s tan hand that is now resting on the paleness of her flat stomach. Many dirty thoughts run through her brain, but she’s able to suppress them all just by focusing on what’s actually happening at the moment. Which is not at all sexual, nope. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Of all the things she has experienced in her whole entire life, this has ought to be one of the most surprising. To have one of her absolute worst days possibly end in a semi awesome one is… quite the surprise. His fingers smooth over her belly button in broad circles, triggering her to sigh in a breath of comfort and excitement. Though that’s not where her pain resides, she still appreciates Lance for trying to make the pain bearable. Can’t blame him, since he probably has no idea as to what actually causes menstrual cramps.

This act stops abruptly however, as his hand turns downward. His ring and middle finger slowly lifting her pants up, the pads of them leaving a trail of brief pleasure. Any remnant of her previous exhaustion has flown out the window at this point. She’s wide awake, fully aware of the smooth tracks of Lance's finger tips. Pidge internally freaks out in excitement because holy crap. _He’s getting in my PANTS._ This was like an elaborate fantasy that is actually coming true. _What. is. happening._

Except he doesn’t pursue all the way down to her panties. Sort of bummed, but excited nevertheless. Instead his fingers rest right below the bellybutton which is where most of the pain is actually coming from, “This was just a little thing I learned back home. If it feels weird- well this is already weird enough. Uh sorry. But just- don’t be afraid to smack my hand, okay?” Lance doesn’t do anything for a while, patiently waiting for Pidge’s affirmation. With the little power she has left, she nods slowly. _What is he about to do to me?_

His fingers then form a three gesture, and he aligns them right below the belly button. The subtle pressure, already feels amazing for Pidge. He then pushes down, pretty rough, in fact. However, it doesn’t hurt at all. It actually feels super awesome and the cramps are all of the sudden turning into bubbles of relief. She sighs out in satisfaction with a mixed in moan. “Hah.. wow that really…works…” Pidge comments in a breathy tone. _That sounds pretty wrong but whatever. His fingers are working freaking magic here!_ Lance relaxes at that and mutters, “I’m glad that it actually works and I’m not just semi-feeling you up for no reason”. She lets out a nervous laugh, but allows him to continue.

His fingers continue to push deep into her abdomen, maneuvering her skin in an unhurried, circular motion. It was almost like he was trying to crush the pain away, but that’s exactly what it feels like. And he was doing an incredible job at getting rid of the cramps. The abundance of distracting pain overridden with another distracting source: Lance’s god damn fingers.

Pidge wouldn’t even dare imagining them in another deep part of her right now. That’s just way too much shame. Things like this usually never happen to her. It’s all just fantasies and her brain, but what is happening right now straight up destroys those imaginations. Nothing compares to the real thing. That much is definitely true.

In natural fashion, she slides her hand down to his wrist. His fingers disappointingly come to an abrupt stop, “Oh, uh-” but Pidge guides his fingers a bit lower and deeper into her abdomen, to where it really hurts and cuts him off, “Right here might feel even more amazing”.

His fingers lay millimeters shy away from her panties, but she tries not to focus on that too much. She hears Lance’s breath stutter and he obliged respectfully. Sadly she felt Lance’s lower half retreat from her thighs, but she can’t care to complain since her stomach is literally hopping with joy. Pidge arches her back into Lance’s chest as her cramping has calmed to a halt. And finally she releases a deep exhale, putting an end to her misery.

All evidence of any sort of disturbance slowly dissipated into sprinkles of all that’s good in the world. She lied there in a peaceful sort of afterglow, minus the orgasm. But that might as well have been an orgasm, with the way she feels at the moment. Lance replaces his fingers with his whole hand, rubbing small, moderate circles on her abdomen, “Now are you good?” he speaks to the back of her neck.

Pidge whispers quietly as she drifts off into her deep sleep, “God yes..”

**

Possibly a varga passes before Lance decides it’s time for him to take his leave. He did try sleeping, he really did. But it’s quite impossible when you’re trying so hard (so freaking hard) not to rub a boner into your crush’s cute rump, which was practically calling to be grinded on.

Except it really wasn’t and Lance’s brain just got extremely excited over Pidge’s breathy moans of satisfaction and… _The things she says. God. They could literally apply to an actual sexual situation and I’d still come in my pants! Same wording and everything! Does she even know what she’s doing to me? Is this all some sort of elaborate trick? Wait no, she wouldn’t do that..._

Lance would’ve made some stupid excuse and left her room right after the massage, if it wasn't for his internal need to make sure Pidge sleeps in peace. He didn’t want to leave her by herself until the only sounds he heard from her were hollow breathing and the occasional snore. It took her a while to get there, but he felt that a varga was long enough. Definitely long enough for him and his poor pants.

He had to wait a whole torturing hour before getting out of Pidge’s lovely trashed bedroom. A whole hour after the seriously confusing massage. A whole hour laying in the intruded bed, thinking to himself, “Was that sexual? Was she uncomfortable? What if she was pretending to like it because she was too tired to tell me to piss off? Was she dreading every moment?” A whole hour of hearing her breathe, of taking in the scent of Pidge’s amazing hair.

A whole hour with his raging, untouched boner.

It obviously went down at times, but it usually went straight back up as soon as he fantasized about Pidge in… certain scenarios. His mind is way too gone in the gutters right now. He needs an outlet. He was deciding whether or not he should relieve himself in the bathroom or if he should be reminded of the shameful acts he had committed tonight and carry it to his bed. Tomorrow (or in couple of hours he assumes) he’s going to make sure he apologizes to Pidge of that uncomfortable situation.

There’s no way he’s just going to leave Pidge wondering why Lance basically crossed the lines of friendship and basically felt her up all the way to Heaven. Even though he told himself he’d do whatever he could to make sure Pidge slept comfortably tonight, he had never imagined it going down this way (appropriate choice of wording there). The realization truly hits him then.

_Oh god, what have I done?_


End file.
